Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am spending my child support on dildos
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
