i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
