Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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