So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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