she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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