chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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