Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Randomize
