this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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