youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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