Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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