Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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you didnt know i had herpes?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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