That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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