Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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