Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
