Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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