the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize