This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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