New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
