I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
