Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
