i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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