that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize