Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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