You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
