everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
