Cold hands, warm shart.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize