Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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