if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
