Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize