Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I party with great urgency now.
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