I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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