I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
