can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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