We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
