let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
