is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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