We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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