my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
