Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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