this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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