In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
