All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
