I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
