id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize