the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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