so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Who died my cat blue again?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
