there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
