New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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