Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize