If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
