First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
