I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I need water and some morals
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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