hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
