is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
