god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
These tits shall not be calmed
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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