So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
