You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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