Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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