Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
